How to Ask for Help as a Mom Without Feeling Guilty

mom reading

‍Asking for help as a mom without feeling guilty is not always easy. Trust me, I know.
But, you have to give yourself permission to ask for help.

As a mom, I know firsthand the pressure that comes with balancing tasks (in or out of the home), family, and personal responsibilities.

It can feel overwhelming at times, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to do everything on your own. Often, this is because we believe we can do most things around our home better than anyone else. This may be true, but not the best path to follow if you want to avoid overwhelm.

Or, we don’t ask for help to learn new skills that will help make our role as a mom easier. When in reality, learning new skills is one of the fastest ways to independence and confidence.

You may hesitate to ask for help if you lack knowledge in a particular area, but we all have to learn from somebody, right?

And one huge reason why mothers struggle to ask for help is that no one wants to appear as if they can not handle the responsibility of caring for their home and family.

But getting the help you need is more important than struggling in silence.

I’ve learned that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a strength. Getting my family on board with helping with household tasks helps them to understand everyone’s contribution to our home is important and needed.

In this article, I’ll share my insights on how to ask for help as a mom without feeling guilty.

The Pressure of Being a Mom

Being a mom is a full-time job, and it’s one that comes with a lot of pressure.

On top of tending to my husband and taking care of my children, I also have to manage the household and take care of my own needs.

If not done properly with forethought and a plan, this can all feel very overwhelming.

For me, the pressure to be the perfect mom and do everything on my own was a constant source of stress.

I felt like I had to be supermom, and if I asked for help, it meant I was failing.

And social media doesn’t necessarily make it easy for moms.

We are inundated with pictures and videos of the idea of what the “perfect” mother looks like.

However, this mindset only made things worse, and I realized that I needed to change my approach.

I’ve learned over the years that no two family households are alike. No matter how many similarities or commonalities.

I’ve learned and am still learning that I have to seek God for wisdom and ideas that will best suit my family.

And I encourage you to do the same.

Why It’s Important to Ask for Help as a Mom Without Feeling Guilty

Asking for help is important for several reasons.

First, it can help to reduce stress and overwhelm.

When you try to do everything on your own, it can be exhausting, both physically and mentally.

By asking for help, you can lighten your load and focus on what’s most important.

Second, asking for help can strengthen your relationships.

When you ask for help, you’re showing that you trust and value the person you’re asking. It can also create opportunities for bonding and connection.

Finally, asking for help can be empowering. It takes courage to admit that you can’t do everything on your own, and by asking for help, you’re taking control of your life and your responsibilities.

These life lessons are important to show our children because it demonstrates the meaning of family.

It teaches empathy and compassion for others.

And, it may also help your children process their own vulnerabilities by learning how to ask for help themselves.

Depleted Mother Syndrome

Depleted Mother Syndrome is a real thing. Short-tempered, frazzled, and worn out.

Never hesitate to reach out for professional help from your doctor or counselor to help you fully process your feelings of overwhelm.

Common Reasons Why Moms Hesitate to Ask for Help

Despite the benefits of asking for help, many moms hesitate to do so. Here are some common reasons why:

  • Guilt: Many moms feel guilty for asking for help as if it’s a sign of weakness or failure.
  • Fear of judgment: Some moms worry that asking for help will make them look incompetent or like they can’t handle their responsibilities.
  • Lack of trust: It can be hard to trust others with your children or your home, especially if you’ve had bad experiences in the past.
  • Control issues: Some moms feel like they have to do everything on their own in order to maintain control over their lives and their families.

Overcoming the Guilt of Asking for Help

If you’re feeling guilty about asking for help, it’s important to remember that it’s not a sign of weakness or failure. In fact, it’s the opposite. Asking for help takes courage and strength, and it’s a sign that you’re taking control of your life and your responsibilities.

One way to overcome the guilt of asking for help is to reframe your thinking. Instead of seeing it as a weakness, see it as an opportunity to empower yourself and strengthen your relationships. Remember that everyone needs help sometimes, and there’s no shame in reaching out.

At times you will have to remove some tasks from your plate and say no to some opportunities. (Even the good ones)

One very important tip is to keep in mind that you cannot do everything at the same time. For example, maybe you are learning how to sew and bake new recipes from scratch. Well, repainting a bedroom may not currently be the best idea. Rather, choosing to take on that project at a later time or hire help is more feasible.

Another way to overcome guilt is to practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would give to a friend. Recognize that you’re doing the best you can and that it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.

Even if you are a stay-at-home mom, you may still need help as well.

We all have 24 hours in a day and many of us have tasks that could fill up an entire day. Whether we work in the home or outside the home it’s never a bad thing if we need help at times.

Who to Ask for Help

When it comes to asking for help, it’s important to choose the right people. Here are some options to consider:

  • Partner/spouse: If you have a partner or spouse, they should be your first option for help. They share the responsibility of parenting and managing the household, so it’s important to clearly communicate your needs and work together.
  • Family: If you have family members nearby, they can be a great source of help. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins can all pitch in and provide support.
  • Friends: Close friends can also be a great option for help. They can watch your children, help with household tasks, or just provide emotional support.
  • Babysitters/nannies: If you need help on a regular basis, consider hiring a babysitter or nanny. This can be a great option if you need time to work or take care of personal responsibilities.
  • Community resources: There are many community resources available for moms, such as family support services, classes, workshops, and support groups.

How to Ask for Help Effectively

Once you’ve identified who to ask for help, it’s important to know how to ask effectively. Here are some tips:

  • Be clear: When you ask for help, be specific about what you need.
  • Be respectful: When you ask for help, respect the other person’s time and schedule. Don’t assume that they’re available or willing to help.
  • Be grateful: When someone helps you, be sure to express your gratitude. Thank them for their time and effort, and let them know how much you appreciate their help.
  • Be willing to reciprocate: If someone helps you, be willing to return the favor. Offer to help them in the future, or find other ways to show your appreciation.
  • Be realistic: For example, if you are asking for help for a task that is a huge undertaking don’t have false expectations that the job will get done in one setting. Some help requires patience and time.
  • Communicate regularly: When someone is helping you on a regular basis, it’s important to communicate regularly to ensure that everything is going smoothly. Check-in with them and ask for feedback.

Encouraging Other Moms to Ask for Help Without Feeling Guilty

If you know other moms who are struggling, encourage them to ask for help. Share your own experiences and let them know that it’s okay to ask for help.

You may be surprised at how encouraged another mom will feel just hearing you tell her to give herself permission to rest, take a break, or remove some of the pressure off her shoulders.

Our families are counting on us to be mentally available, and physically able to love and nurture them.

Let’s not stretch ourselves too thin to the point we are not able to show up for them.

Let’s continue to learn and share with others creative ways to lighten the load of managing our homes to allow more time to love the people in it!

Until next time.

Happy Reading!


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